The Traveller

A group of us hostel gals shared a taxi down to Cape Spear this morning after an early morning hike up to Signal Hill to catch the sunrise. I went on a solitary hike up Cape Spear Trail to North Head and Maddox Cove and back, by which time I was pretty exhausted. I could’ve kept going and taken another four-hour hike along the Blackhead Trail back to St. John’s, but in my rush this morning I realized I forgot to pack snacks and a sufficient water supply, so I cabbed back into town where I stopped in for a kidney pie and beer at the Duke of Duckworth.

Now as I sit back in the hostel (which is pretty much a converted old townhouse) next to the open window listening to the gulls, the waves on the pier; and breathing in the crisp salty air, I feel like I’m finally ready to write this post.

To be honest, coming to St. John’s was more than just a vacation. It was more than just the need of getting away from Toronto for a while. It was even more than keeping an open eye for new places of which to migrate after graduation. It was to test myself to see if I could travel someplace completely on my own, meet new people, and try things outside of my comfort zone. Without realizing it, I had actually done it. I crossed so many things off my bucket list on this trip, and it made me realize that the one thing I’ve wanted to do for weeks, I don’t need to be afraid to do it anymore.

Those (few) of you who follow me might know that I’ve recently had to go through a tough separation. I batted around the idea of moving to Northern Europe next year, at first for him, but as I did more research into the culture and geography, it became something I really wanted to experience for myself. At the same time, because it had never been at the top of my to-do list to become ‘the traveller’, I was afraid that I was going to leave for all the wrong reasons. Even as I became more and more certain that this was something I wanted to do with or without the prospect of “him”, I was still afraid of feeling unwelcomed, out of place, and not being able to find a job (oh god, the prospect of being broke and unemployed…). But somehow now, although it still feels scary, it also feels completely possible.

Over these past few days I’ve met so many people both local and international who all have such different stories, but yet we were all here experiencing something new together. We were all out of place and slightly scared, but also excited. And even though we all part ways at the end and I probably won’t ever see them again, there was one simple thing that brought us together just for a single moment. And that thing is that we were all travellers not only of this city, but of our own lives. That notion alone gave me the courage and the willpower to face an adventure across the pond, knowing that for the right reasons, I could be ‘the Traveller’.

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