Stress, Pressure, Worries

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“Grown ups” say that people our age shouldn’t have stress. We don’t have to worry about taking care of our kids, paying taxes, or be constantly suspiciously alert of layoffs and cutbacks. But I beg to differ. Right now, for the first real time in my life, I am worried.

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This semester has been a heavy load… I’ve felt overwhelmed and nervous for almost the entire four months. Apart from academics, I took on more responsibility in extracurriculars and constantly tried battling my personal weaknesses. But as a result, I feel like I’ve completely backfired and set myself back to where I was in high school. My grades aren’t particularly amazing this term (even though they’re not bad either), and one unexpected extremely low assignment grade just sent me into the depths of despair. What’s worse is it’s not even because I didn’t try – I actually thought I knew what I was doing and would get perfect.

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The competition these days is just so fierce… even though people say grades are not all that matters and everyone has strengths in their own personality, there are still set standards, and the reality is that only certain people have the “traits” that allow them to excel. Perhaps I’m just being overly cynical at the moment due to final projects and exams…

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I just wish sometimes that I could have a different mindset. I’m always over-thinking and always in a rush. I feel like I’m running a marathon where even though I’m not stopping to take breaks, I’m only watching everyone else run ahead.

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